Narcissistic partners act as though they are always correct, that they know better, and that their spouse is inept or incorrect. This frequently results in the other person in the relationship being upset and attempting to protect themselves, or associating with this poor self-image and feeling horrible about themselves. Narcissists also use their partners for personal gain—such as attention or material possessions—without caring how their actions affect others.
Narcissists' needs are not met because they have no capacity for intimacy; instead, they expect others to meet their needs. In order for a relationship with a narcissistic partner to be healthy, you must give them what they want even if it hurts you in the process. They may appear loving at first, but once they have achieved their goal, they will move on to the next person who will fulfill their need.
Narcissists tend to attract people who are weak, who lack confidence, who are looking for guidance from someone higher up on the food chain. These are often the very same traits that make a narcissistic partner attractive to begin with.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, it is important to understand that this is not your fault. You cannot change who your partner is, only your response to their behavior. It is best if you can separate yourself from them emotionally so that you do not become involved.
Narcissists slowly but utterly destroy their spouses in relationships. They cause their spouse to question themselves. They blame their spouses for their own errors and even manipulate them into cleaning up their messes.
A narcissist's need for attention and validation from others is extremely high, so they will never be satisfied with just one partner. In fact, they will constantly look for ways to undermine the marriages of their partners. This may include, but is not limited to: lying, cheating, stealing, controlling behavior, emotional abuse, and physical violence.
Narcissists have no regard for other people's feelings, so they will never see things your way or respect your opinions. Even if their actions seem like they are showing otherwise, this is only an illusion created by their ill temper and impatience. Underneath it all, they are still looking out for number one.
They will also try to make you feel inadequate by comparing you to them. If you ever stand up for yourself, they will seek to bring you down with them using every mean possible. For example, they might bribe someone else on you, or even kill your dream by convincing you that it isn't worth fighting for.
Finally, narcissists don't change unless forced to.
Narcissists regard their spouses as trophies under their control and may demand partners to demonstrate reverence and adoration throughout the relationship. Manipulation of a spouse is emotional abuse, and narcissists will turn to some very low-level acts if they believe they are losing control over a relationship. Physical violence is never intended by narcissists, but it has occurred when a partner has threatened to leave them.
If you're in a relationship with a narcissist, you'll know it because these are the signs that you're involved with a narcissist:
He or she is always ready to argue about something trivial. Narcissists enjoy conflict, and bringing you into their drama helps keep them feeling important. This is also why they usually pick on small things so that they can get mad at you for saying no.
They expect you to meet all of their needs. A narcissist cannot function without your praise and admiration. They need you to encourage them whenever they make a mistake or say something inappropriate. Otherwise, they won't feel worthy of your love.
You are expected to fulfill the role of mother/father to their children. Even if you're not planning on having any yourself, a narcissist will still try to find ways to involve you with your partner's life.
Vulnerable narcissists frequently worry about how their partners see them in relationships. They can be very possessive, jealous, and paranoid about their partners' having flirtations or affairs. What are the consequences of having a narcissistic spouse in a relationship? Narcissistic partnerships are notoriously difficult. There are two distinct types of narcissists: vulnerable and invincible. A vulnerable narcissist is one who does not recognize that she is ill and will likely never get help. This type of narcissist may have had some form of abuse in her childhood and experience feelings of inadequacy or rejection when faced with criticism or failure. She may also use other people's admiration to make herself feel important. An invincible narcissist has no interest in improving herself and believes that she is perfect the way she is. She may have been abused as a child but would describe herself as strong-willed instead of vulnerable. This type of narcissist may have high expectations for herself and others, be critical and demanding, and feel offended when not given what she wants immediately.
Narcissistic spouses often cause turmoil in normal marriages. They may try to control their partners through jealousy and intimidation and expect them to stay in the relationship indefinitely. If you are in a troubled marriage, it's important to understand why the marriage isn't working.
The non-narcissistic spouse may be seeking to escape public humiliation, so he or she accepts the deception. Worse, the non-narcissistic spouse may be frightened to inform anybody about the relationship's true state. Many people in this scenario are unwilling to quit the relationship, even if it becomes abusive.
Narcissists have no interest in sharing their power and control over others. Therefore, they cannot be trusted not to abuse their position of strength. They will continue to deceive and humiliate their partners until one of them walks out on the deal - which is why many relationships with narcissistic spouses end in divorce.
Even if your marriage does not involve any actual narcissists, it can still be very dysfunctional if either of you is emotionally dependent on the other. Such marriages tend to be marked by fear, shame, and guilt - especially among the women - because they lack confidence in themselves or their ability to meet life's challenges.
People in such marriages feel unworthy of love and trust, which causes them to unconsciously act like narcissists toward their partners. They may avoid making decisions together because they don't want to risk being humiliated by the other person, so they keep certain facts about themselves hidden from him or her.
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